Men and Women Communicate Differently



[This is an excerpt from an earlier article]

The last few days, I have spoken of some of the built-in differences between men and women. I talked about the fact that women are better at arguing , the fact men and women have different focuses of life. , and the fact that men and women have different levels of defensiveness. No matter how much social engineering, we cannot get past these differences and never will. They are built in. Well, here is another one.

My wife and I often have the problem of her being able to tie multiple lines of thinking and conversation together in one conversation while I get lost if we get beyond one single line of discussion. She will be talking about the kids and suddenly be continuing a conversation from hours earlier about her mother. I get lost. She wonders what my problem is.
 
This is true for men and women more generally. Women often get frustrated with men because men cannot tell what they are thinking. 

Men, if you come home from work, think your wife might be upset, ask her if she is okay, and she answers "I'm fine," please know that she is not fine. And she will be upset that you cannot tell that she is not fine. Women communicate well and want men to communicate equally as well. But we just cannot. 

Many married couples have problems when women insist on talking and men want to go back into their den and be alone. This general principles is seen clearly by watching how men and women talk on the phone. Men typically have terse and short conversations. One word statements and short phrases. 'Yes.... No.... I will pick you up. ...Okay. ...Bye.' In contrast, women are comfortable with long conversations and rarely have such short interactions (especially with other women).   

These differences are built in. Neither is better. But they are realities that every married person should accept and be prepared to deal with. 

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